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Saturday, December 26, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Persona, Compassion and Bravado...
I recently read an article on writing that suggested writers ask ourselves, “Why have I chosen to write this novel at this time in my life?”
This novel at this time.
An interesting question.
As psychotherapists we continually ponder why a client chooses to discuss certain matters during particular sessions.
While life of each client holds a myth or narrative unique to them and around which all activities swirl to incorporate meaning, the question, “Why this and now,” holds power.
The answer usually lies within the framework of a recent incident that has taken place.
In becoming a microcosm of the macrocosm of the large narrative of the client’s life touches upon an aspect of the large narrative.
It reminds the client of something they have yet to resolve, or yearn to achieve.
“Why this, and now?” becomes, “And now I desire this.”
My recent novel, The House, due for publication in 2010 probes the question, “What would you do if you learned the person you are divorcing is also dying?”
That I love my husband and we are happily married, and that this is my first and only marriage makes for an interesting answer to the question, “Why did I write “The House“, and now?
The answer, “I desired the ability to hold more compassion, particularly for those who have wronged me,” immediately as i pondered.
Prior to writing The House I had done a year or more of spiritual direction.
Many of my discussions, in fact the bedrock of my discussions centered on the relationship with my mother, unfinished business that was never resolved before she died.
While I have always felt there was much more I could have done, the priest pointed out that perhaps my mother had wanted forgiveness from me for various things she had done.
Forgiving my mother, that she would feel badly for anything that she had done, had never crossed my mind. I was too focused on the things I had performed poorly, my failures as a daughter. The question left me stumped.
In pondering it more I realized that I had not seen my mother as a person.
She had been an icon, The Mother, never to be challenged, never to be corrected, never to be seen as an equal, nor a friend.
How sad and how lonely.
Granted my mother had played her role in creating this bravado, and had lived out this persona.
But I, in my ignorance and fear, had never sought to pierce it in a loving and compassionate way.
If the adage, “Once and adult, twice a child,” is true, then the relationship between me and my mother never reached a point where I was able to give to her as she gave to me when I was a child.
Hence I wrote, The House, the theme of which is:
“…All hold regret and are seeking forgiveness. Our salvation rests in the hands of others…” my way of saying,”I’m sorry.”
Why have you written your novel or story?
To what personal desire does it point?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
AVN All Time Top 50 Porn Stars
The AVN editorial staff decided to select the 50 Top Porn Stars of All Time.
In compiling their list, they took into account a number of criteria – popularity, ability, impact, mainstream acceptance, longevity and last but not least, good old fashioned looks
View the Top 50 here: AVN All Time Top 50 Porn Stars | Porn Star eMart
Thursday, December 10, 2009
10 Things I Learned This Week
It’s been a long while since I’ve done one of these, but it’s always fun to make a list of all the things I’m learning in my day-to-day life, no textbook required (although sometimes it would be desireable)!
1. Owen is not a screwdriver. He told me so.
2. If you pretend to be Buzz Lightyear, wear a cardboard box for a helmet, and jump off the couch yelling, “to infinity and beyond!”, you will hit your head on the ceiling and possibly take out a light fixture…or two…
3. Dorky family pictures don’t work out so well when you’re the only one who looks dorky in them.
4. You have to wait a really, really long time to get season 8 of the original “Beverly Hills 90210″ from Netflix!
5. The “Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” song is much, much funnier when sung through a paper towel tube.
6. When it’s 9 degrees outside in the middle of the night and your dogs start barking like crazy, take a little time to fully rouse yourself from your slumber. Don’t muddleheadedly run outside in shorts and a tank top! It’s a very rude awakening. Literally.
7. OMG! I am, like, totally the coolest adult my little sister-in-law knows.
8. My little sister-in-law needs to get out more. A LOT more!
9. I don’t like being referred to as an “adult”, even if it’s preceded by the world cool. Come on, everybody knows there’s no such thing as a cool adult!
10. As much as I dislike being called an adult, I dislike it even more when I tell someone that I’ve been married for almost 6 years, and they ask if I’m 19 or 20. I have a feeling that Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler could do a pretty good “REALLY!?” segment about this. (For the Rednecks reading this, that would be “Saturday Night Live’s” version of “Here’s Your Sign”). And by the way, my husband is not that much of a pervert! 
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Not Every Santa Is Nice; There’s A Claus!
Yes, this image is real, taken no more than 10 minutes ago at Macy’s Department Store right in downtown Deadwood.
I realize that many young and old women alike may fantasize about Old Saint Nick giving them the “One-Finger Rush” in the “Christmas Spirit” of things. Nonetheless, the Douginator Online Magazine is here to set you all straight.
Once again these fake Santa bastards are going around and fucking things up. I know and you know the real deal, the real Santa is dead already.
The Douginator Online Magazine received a tip today that there was a poser hanging out in the Macy’s Department Store on Deadwood’s Lower East Side. Making sure that I had my Visa to travel through the town’s industrial south side, I sped through the casinos on Main Street, passed the whorehouses and “Loser’s Alley” that most tourist finds soon enough on their own, and the Chamber of Commerce never seems to mention. I drive down along the seedier side, passed the army of drug dealers and pimps, of town until I hit the local merchants where the sun seems almost a little brighter like that of the south side of town.
I did see another “Santa” out in front of the Silverado Casino ringing a bell to lure all the Winter Tourists into the establishment. What does the Christmas Spirit of things and casinos have in common?
Absolutely nothing…
“Ho, ho, ‘hoe… Merry fookin’ Christmas” he yells as I drove by. Yup, another drunken Irishmen. “Come inside so’s we can fook you’ze over, takes all’z you’ze monies…”
I crank up Disturbed’s new album that will be released next summer to you all. It’s going to be “fookin’” huge!
Deadwood does a lot of that sort of shit. I would have to drive back through in hopes of exposing this fraud in good time. Acting upon my tip, a phone call who wishes to remain anonymous, “Diamond Dave” we all call him that called is a fifty-some-odd man who takes too much Viagra and runs around chasing the eighty-some-odd former women who formerly were professional legalized whores here. Most retired as school teachers, librarians (at the Deadwood Library), a couple of nurses, and three or four former Pastor’s wives. However, I am not positive if they were married to these pastors before, during, or after they where whores – In any rate, Diamond Dave suffers from priapism. I guess it can be fatal for older guys. I mean I wouldn’t know. When I was a young teen and going into manhood, I would spend half my day with a woody looking like I was about to impale the next big hit, if you know what I mean, and I turned out fine.
Nonetheless, I manage to find a parking place and with my eight mega-pixel camera, I took the picture above of the so-called sell-out of “Santa.” Unfortunately he saw me first as you can see. I know this guy, her name, that’s right, I said her name is Roz Purchase. Roz was a former street hooker her in Deadwood and then took a job as a Cashier at a few casinos since then. This is the reason that I immediately got the “middle finger salute.”
Roz is no more a Santa than she is a lady. She then chucked little Toby Sanchez off of her lap aimlessly onto the floor and ran out of Macy’s in a torrent of uttered contempt and death threats towards me, the magazine, and of course, the staff at Macy’s.
Rozelle Purchase is anything but friendly most days, and on some days, quite the old cranky old geezer. Most of the old men that is still alive and kicking remember a much softer side of Roz, “Back in the Day…” and I bet!
As I ran out behind Ms (pronounced “Mehz”) she was seen here flashing the patrons of my fine little mountain town and traumatizing young Judy Stahlsworth to the right.
The guy on the bike, Jerry Smith later reported to me that he had immediate plans on “…turning gay.” This is going to be his new year’s resolution.
Now some folks, the folks that knows the deal with me clipping the real Santa has asked me if I could go back into time and rectify things. Certainly not!
Santa had it coming. Also there were fakes back then doing terrible things like Roz here in Deadwood. I mean, I am told by the DOGC “Deadwood Old Geezer’s Committee” that Rozelle always had an issue with “flashing” every since the 3rd Grade at Deadwood Elementary School.
This is certainly nothing new for her, or for the other miscreants posing as Santa. Ms. Purchase was then hauled into custody and is awaiting trial.
I raced back to see if I can find the other “Santa Asshole” running around in front of the Silverado Saloon across the street where Roz used to spend her quality time lying on her back at their hotel.
No such luck, the asshole must have saw me, realized who I was. I drove around behind the establishment on “Loser’s Alley” and there is where I found him.
I took this picture as this man, who had completely pissed himself in his drunken stupor to include urinating on his socks is seen here in his destitute. It grieves me so that gaming in South Dakota has taken in so many casualties that can be seen here down in their mire, their luck along this lonely stretch of broken asphalt to include this guy, a fake Santa.
This man, a former gym coach at the Lead High School, in Lead, pronounced “Leed” South Dakota fell into a gambling addiction a few years ago losing his home, his wife, his dog worked out a deal with the Silverado casino is working his debt off for the remainder of his life playing the rolls of the Easter Bunny, the Great Pumpkin, a Leprechaun, Cupid, Uncle Sam, and Jesus Christ on the fitting and respective holiday seasons.
Sad…
You Know The Deal…
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