what's important, and what really isn't

I needed an egg.

My husband and I were up at 9. I sat at the kitchen table reading “The Vegetarian Mother and Baby cookbook” and eating some toast while he set up his hockey pool online. We heard his dad’s truck outside and I began looking in my cookbook for today’s project while my husband brushed his teeth. 

“Oh shit,” I said. “I need an egg.” 

“Why don’t you walk down to the neighbor’s and get some?” he asked. 

“You know,” I said, “that is an excellent idea.”

So as my husband left to go to work on his grandparents’ deck with his dad, I grabbed some change and set out into the sunshine. As I was walking up the  driveway, little T called to me from the porch, asking if she could come along. As she ran back inside to ask her mom if she could come down the road with me to buy some eggs from the neighbor, I stuck my nose into the big house and invited Sister 3 to come with us.

The three of us set out to the neighbor’s house. He has a bunch of chickens and sells free-range eggs to people in the area. We walked arm-in-arm. 

We started talking about the Feast, and how Sister 1 is talking about bringing her boyfriend. We giggled about that a little bit, and I expressed interest in her being with someone who didn’t grow up in the church, so I could have someone to talk to about what it’s like, coming from outside the church and marrying into this family. I’m excited to meet him.

Sister 3 talked about how lame it is having no one her age to spend time with at the Feast. She’s almost 16, at that awkward in-between age where there are no girls to hang out with and if she so much as looks at a boy her brothers rip on her ferociously. 

“You can hang out with me,” I said. “Chances are I won’t want to be out partying very much.” We won’t have a ton of money anyway. 

“Whatever,” Sister 3 scoffed. “Except everyone is going to want to go out with you ’cause you’re pregnant and awesome.” Aww.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think A and I are going to be left out of a lot of the young adult activities.”

“Why?” Sister 3 and little T both wanted to know.

I told them about the “party” mind-set, about how my husband and I go to bed between 7:30 and 8 every day, and I don’t have the energy to stay up any later because I get up 4-5 times a night to go to the bathroom. Sister 2 however, is finally out of her parents’ house, she can do whatever she wants, and the feast is going to be major party time. 

The neighbor didn’t have any eggs.

As we were walking back, Sister 3 clutched my arm tighter and said, “I love you. You’ve totally replaced Sister 1 as my big sister.”

My chin quivered. It sounded like a dig on Sister 1, but I think it’s just because Sister 3 probably misses Sister 1 the most out of all of us. 

I made a joke about how it was just because of all the yummy treats I’ve been bringing them – muffins, cookies, apple crumble, oat delights – but then Sister 3 said, “Well yeah, but also because I remember what it was like when you left.” 

Okay, heart-strings. Little T, Sister 3 and I all sniffled a little bit. None of us like to think about the day I packed up and moved back to AB. Are we closer for the space I put between us? 

I had my year of crazy. I had my party time, my time away from my parents. My husband and Brother C work hard every day. Because I’m pregnant, we’re happy to go to bed at 8, while Sister 2 wants to stay up and socialize, take advantage of her newly-acquired freedom. 

My point here is that as you get older, your priorities shift. You realize what’s important and what really isn’t. I know that probably sounds pompous coming from me; my husband and I are still so young. But even though we are only early-twenty-somethings, it’s more important for me to spend time with my husband turning in early and watching an episode or two of Smallville than staying up until all hours of the night drinking and socializing. You know? And I think it’s good for us to be on the same page as newlyweds (are we still newlyweds if it’s been half a year?), for us to both be learning what’s important, and for us to be spending this time together even just watching a stupid TV show. 

I feel closer to him and more in love than ever.